You’re not kidding about the toothpaste. My orthodontist told me to avoid tartar formulas and whitening formulas, which apparently leaves six availables tubes within a fifty-mile radius.

Cetaphil is far superior. Get some Cetaphil lotion as well.

A couple of unrelated points I’m too lazy to work together.

I’m voting for this as a sticker.

Shout-out to Ann Curry!!! I hope you are celebrating wherever you are, hon.

The thoughts rambling about in American Hitler’s nearly empty skull: ‘Me, me, me, me! Everything has to be about me! Me, me, me, me! All about me! Me, me, me, me!’

Talk about a real twist in the fourth act, Bobby.

Selena Gomez could do so much better than Bieber.

I don’t understand why the tone towards the pioneer woman is so mean?

This quote from Emily Dickinson has always rung true for me. “Behavior is what a man does, not what he thinks, feels, or believes.” 

I am cracking up at undercover firefighters.

I imagine this whole thing ending with the entire administration going down over tax evasion or money laundering, screaming “See! We told you there was no collusion” all the way to their cells.

Especially white underwear. And I don’t even wear body makeup.

Re: the bikini: The designer should be take this up with the Ciroc team, or the ad/production agency who owned the shoot. Just send them an invoice (and, lesson learned, don’t lend clothing for paid ad campaigns—they should buy that shit!). Ashanti didn’t pull the bikini for personal use or even one of her own…