Greetings Starfighter...er, BattleHawks!

*Vipres

Can’t wait to cheer for the Imagine Dragons.

I am de Viper. I am coming.

That’s was my first thought. Think about how happy this will make wardrobe people and those looking for B-roll.

The XFL should have just bought the names/logos from Any Given Sunday. At least those teams would have some history! 

Only three potential troop names: Defenders, BattleHawks, Guardians.

“To begin, draw an S. For snake. Or ... Seattle.”

I can’t help but think the Tampa Bay Vipers were named so as an homage to the high number of 1988 White Chevrolet Beretta’s “Protected by Viper®” owned by the perspective fan base.

They’re really gonna burninate up the competition this year.

Cannot wait to watch the Seattle Trogdors in action

See, now this is an example of a poor comment. Everyone should take note of this bad comment and learn from it. This is a St.Louis Cardinals fan level insult that frankly, we’re all above. I CAST YOU BACK TO THE YAHOO COMMENTS SECTION, DEMON!

CAN’T PARALYZE HEART

aint nothin more AMERICAN than takin a shit while starin down the grim reaper 

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

In Soviet Russia, girl gropes YOU!

Only three other comments on this account, and all somehow more shockingly stupid than this one.

From the Fox article:

“5 people fired”