Middle finger in the air if your pussy's tight...

But they really should. They're great jollies.

Jews don't join the military. Don't be silly.

Finishing Infinite Jest is like a badge of honor. I have a buddy who gave it to maybe ten of us, and I was the only one to finish.

Will Olivia Benson be invited to the party? Not the lady who plays Olivia Benson, I mean Taylor Swift's cat.

Letting women have guns? Next you'll be talking about letting them have the vote.

Also, we were definitely on campus around the same time.

Can we only tell Glen stories, now? One visiting weekend (why 18 year olds have visiting weekends, I'll never know) I shaved my head into what I call the "Picard". I got really drunk at what could only have been 12 PM on a Saturday afternoon, took the elevator from Tower D, pounded on the glass at the Glen, and…

What Towson freshman turns down booze? None that I ever hung out with.

I recently went to a genetic disorder convention for my girlfriend's brother. He's got a thing. I was floored to meet the head of security for a creationist museum. His kid also has a thing, something wrong with his DNA, and yet he still didn't believe in evolution. That's when I mentally shrugged my shoulders and…

Tell me this happened at Franklin high School in Reisterstown.