Dan, Dan, Dan. . . That first letter “my gf sniffs her roommate’s panties” was a fake, right? You should know better.

Cue up the cartoons in the opinion section of the local papers with the above sentiment.

I am not a writer by trade, but I am an artist.

Ghosted Stories

That, I cannot help you with. I completely understand why he is liked. The same way I can understand why people like Henry Miller. Certain worlds engage the imagination of certain people. But when you look at those two examples (as disparate as they are) critically, they are not inherently good writers. But they are…

Deckard is not a replicant in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.

There is a simple reason why PDK’s stories have never had a literal translation: he was a terrible writer. Bad prose, drug-addled attention to detail and the inability to put an ending on a piece of work.

Also, never use your toaster near a bathtub.

So in other words, Phoenix is a great place to be severely uncomfortable!

As a former resident, I would say: avoid Phoenix. It’s an inclement shithole.

So the next obvious choice was Jared Leto? Jesus.

George Washington didn’t wear a hat at his inauguration. So, no, JFK was not the first.

Did they read your tea leaves, too? Throw your i ching? Look at your astrological chart? Did they dial up god and see what he had to say? All seem just as effective.

Hats are in style, but not super widely worn. I wear hats throughout the year, and as dictated by the weather. If worn properly, and worn in a way that suits your clothes, they work.

Thank goodness you understand that.

I know - I lived through the nascent days of the ‘net - you know, when we all made commentary to ourselves on what we were doing, munching on pizza and wearing our baseball caps backwards, all while the screen glowed brightly in our faces. Sandra Bullock-style.

No to mention it’s a HIDEOUS site design. It simply looks like like shit.

How he longs for those days, I bet. . .