Hey, you’ve never had to shift the boys around, then realize that you’re at the RNC and say eff it, I’m on too big a stage and can’t grab my junk, so you never notice that your fly is down.

I’m glad that old man Cena has found his place in the New Era: confused as fuck about all these youngsters and their catchphrases. One can only hope that some day, some way, John Cena will figure out how he is doing.

I dunno, festering ass is not very tasty. In fact, it...

Ass consumption is a serious matter, sir.

Question. What if, hypothetically, a fraudster has become sated after a hearty meal of n00b tears and x-treem game fuel, and therefore cannot consume the entirety of their own ass? I believe that the proper procedure is to force-feed them ass, but is it also allowable to save a portion of the ass in Tupperware in the…

They’ve had a bad day, so they’re sad and trying to hide under his pecs.

Son of a bitch, people. VGBC is just getting back into sponsoring people. This probably won’t impact their tournament-streaming business, but I hope it doesn’t make things go bad for Chudat or Amsa.

Wait, Melee is slow? Which game are you watching? Melee is hella fast. Some characters are slower because they are defensive, but that’s by no means unique to Melee, or even Smash.

The new Pokemon Glockachu is super effective against, like, everything.

More than any other fighting game, Melee, and Smash 4 to a lesser extent, are much more innovative games. Not because the games are innovative (well, they kind of are), but because the actual gameplay had to be innovated. There isn’t a common string of moves in Street Fighter named after Daigo or Justin Wong (there is…

Holy shit, but he looks like my brother. That is kinda scary.

Only the strong survive. By force.

Sounds like someone needed HM01. Would have taken care of that tree, no problem.

OK, real talk: Has anyone ever had those strawberry candies that didn’t come from a grandparent? Seriously, where do they come from? Does AARP send around a candy truck with secret, black-market grade shit?

Max Landis? Fuck yes. Dude has imagination for days.

I hear that Ditto tastes like chicken.

Doesn’t that mean that Germany actually wins?

Team Rocket accepts you and your trash Pokemon with open arms.

Time is also a resource that you can invest in something.

St. Paul, Minnesota is definitely not Suplex City. For one, it’s really hard to suplex people while you’re playing hockey.