I imagine saying “Hey Siri” to your phone just ends up making you look like the theme song to “Hey Arnold.”

Yawn-o-rama. Call me back when a man from Minnesota shoots something exotic, like a lion.

The jig is up, Riddler!

Meh. Until they run a scavenger hunt on the level of Potato Fool’s Day, Valve shall remain the king of sneaking cool shit into their games.

As long as I can play as a character who gave themselves a nice rack because he/she could because robots, then I don’t care.

Canifest Destiny is going strong once again.

Well, we know that players aren’t going to disarm by themselves. I seem to remember someone saying, “War. War never changes.”

I thought the sad fact was that the Jaguars were still a team.

You didn’t have to zoom in on him, camera guy. You’re the real villain here.

This just in: Mark Cuban’s ego boner is polling better than Donald Trump. He’s been usurped.

I continue in my assertion that there is a GIF for everything.

That man is a hero.

I think that this man doesn’t understand how American football works.

I’m concerned. Is the TV show just him being famous in public and trying to get people to recognize him?

In case anyone was wondering, he wasn’t straight perma-banned. He was temporarily banned. Likely for a week.

See, I want to say that this is the greatest DBZ animation in the world, but I know that it’s not; it’s just a tribute.

I try not to make up stuff when talking to customers. I do IT work now, and when I tell people that their new password has to contain a capital letter, a lowercase letter, a number, a special character, a haiku, the poop emoji, and your favorite smell, you would be surprised how many people take me seriously.

The last time I remember being asked if I worked somewhere, I was in my work uniform, but at the wrong store (Wal-mart, as it were). This particular day sticks in my mind because I wasn’t asked if I worked there right away. In fact, of the THREE DIFFERENT CUSTOMERS that just asked me a question as if I was an…

OK. I think I’ve figured it out.

Just hurry up. Ghandi and his nukes are coming to achieve diplomatic victory.