since she’s alive, I can have relatively guilt free schadenfreude. Also, wonder how the gunshot wound will affect her modeling career?

Maybe I am a terrible person, because I still finds this hilarious.

I know. I’m having ‘Jamie Guilt’.

This would be deliciously funny if an innocent kid hadn’t been scarred for life. Fuuuck. Guessing the authorities chalk this up to an accident as per usual.

Oh shit. Looks like Mama Eldritch is getting a texting lesson tonight.

I called 911 when I was five and said my house was on fire and “my baby” was in danger. I was a very dramatic preschooler. 911 called back and talked to my mother, and then my mother talked to me: “Did you call 911?”

It’s kind of you to describe OJ as “an actor.”

It always fit.

I'll be damned, the glove might fit.

Kids are fucking smart! They are smarter than us in the sense that their brains are just firing on all cylinders. They just don’t have as much knowledge.

When I was about 3 or 4 my mother gave me a telephone that she was sure was broken to play with. It was not. I plugged that sucker in to a phone jack in my playroom and called EVERYBODY that I could remember the number for. I kept telling her I was talking to grandma on the phone and she’s like “uh huh that’s nice…

For real tho you need to talk to her about fish theft in NA. That shit’s not cool.
I mean, I usually avoid the Mommy Wars but sometimes you just have to speak up.

The link says a family member was home. It may have been a relative babysitting. And there isn’t any indication of what time of day it was. Sometimes kids randomly want a wardrobe change.

Wow and I thought it was bad that my toddler takes my phone and spends all of my gold fish in Neko Atsume and fills up my camera roll with awkward selfies and pictures of her stuffed animals.

When my sister was 3 and I was 2, our horrible babysitter decided to punish her for some garden-variety 3 year-old transgression by telling her that she was taking me to McDonalds and leaving her at home. The babysitter’s plan was to just idle in the driveway for a few minutes ‘til my sister learned her lesson or some…

I have had this fear and it is LEGIT.

Okay, but the stark, piercing terror of realizing you’re stuck in a piece of clothing or you can’t get it on correctly is real. You haven’t felt shame until you have to plaintively caterwaul for help from the super cheerful fitting room attendant because you’re trapped in a dress. I’m sorry, Anthropologie sales girl.…

My 2 year old called 911 so many times while playing Duck Duck Moose games on my phone that the dispatchers finally called me back one day and said the next time he called they would fine us $1000.

I’m pleasantly surprised her parents weren’t arrested.