Poor Mike, the cawl-uhs and the gays are getting him all flustered again.

"I've never met a gay man."

In Soviet Russia, stairs roll down you!

+1

"ATTENTION, DEAR COMRADES!

This has caught on at my office too. Every morning after coffee I tell my secretary "send them to voicemail, I'm taking my talents down the hall."

On second thought, I'm really excited that the Russians are hosting the Olympics. It's going to be a great month constantly making jokes at their expense.

+1

+1 man I love Bucs jokes and I'm not even from Florida

Mike, come on. You can't call somebody classless for pouring out a beverage when you've recently be caught in the act.

Sheesh, I for one am impressed with Marshawn's ability at the age of 26 or 27. The last time I was able to expose myself for more than six or seven minutes was back when Denise Richards was doing Playboy covers.

"This is what happens when you smoke marijuana."

"Finally. Now I'm not the only one on record as loving elementary aged children anymore."

Whoa. .406 CAREER on-base?!?!?!

Can't take credit for this, saw it elsewhere, but man this sure is the perfect time for a Dumb and Dumber quote.

+1

"Eh, that's not that bad."

Thank goodness. A classy convection oven is just what I was looking for.

Never forget

Brad Ziegler: Screw this guy, this is baseball, its every man for himself, amirite?!