GET THE MAYOR OF TELEVISION ON THE PHONE!

He's just checking out Clayton's ponytail.

I was a defense attorney on a number of sex cases and the defendant committed the criminal act in every single matter. In other words, they weren't the wrong men and every one of them went to prison. However, you need to distinguish "he did it" from "he's guilty" as one is a factual term and the other is a legal term…

I like eggs in almost every way, can I still have a weapon?

I used to work the fry section for Wagamama in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley. In those days, both of the most popular menu items (ie. the most Western-friendly) were from the fry section. Wagamama didn't take reservations, it was all walk-ins. One Wednesday night, four school groups walked in at the same time. On…

They can take all the poison foods from my cold dead hands. I love how they are all "well this is how paleolithic people ate!!!!" LOL okay I think they just ate whatever they could get their hands on. Most of it wasn't organic kale.

I am honestly so sick of hearing about everyone's paleo diet. You can't eat a slice of bread in front of one of these yutzes without hearing about omg bread is poison. And cheese is poison. And white potatoes are poison. What ever happened to moderation, eating lots of vegetables and maintaining healthy portions?…

There are no winners there, my friend.

I'm glad you guys liked the story. It's one of the select few experiences I had there that wasn't totally awful. :D

I took exception to that line, and I'm not from Oklahoma. A whole can of kidney beans seems like an awful lot to ask for. I'd be happy getting the sludge at the bottom of the kidney bean can for that racist, willfully ignorant hellhole.

He's probably from a state that knows the difference between "your" and "you're".

Here's a great way to feel old: Seeing questions from the current AP History test about events that happened after I took the AP History test.

"...makes you wonder if we should sell off that entire state for a can of red kidney beans."

Considering the entire state was originally supposed to be reserved for all the Native Americans who got kicked out of their land elsewhere in the US before the government reneged yet again on that promise, I say, yeah. Give it…

The answer is in the title, he's 38. NOW AP classes are required for a lot of colleges to even look at you, but 20 years ago, they weren't nearly as prevalent.

A 17 year old gets pregnant.

It sends a bit unfair to have a player's wife as a linesperson...I assume.

You act like I work someplace where I can't say whatever I want about anything at any time.

This panel make-up is part of what is wrong with modern journalism. Some producer was thinking, 'for my panel on the N word, I need a balanced approach, so I definitely need to include a white dude to make it legitimate.' No.

The mistake is understandable. Both men have ruined many lives across America; both are believable killers; both display a shattering ocular coldness that could stymie even the boldest reporter who durst to untangle these harrowing facts.

please explain how a state "dominated by democrats" has had a Republican-controlled state senate for all but two years of the past few decades