If we’re workshopping this, first, this is nice surrealism. You set up the litany of actions with the repeated grammatical form very nicely. You’re building some real momentum there, and when you finally switch to a different verb, there’s, not quite frisson, but a definite thrill in that turn.

We live in a post-The Walking Dead world, friend.

To prevent it seeming like a JV game, have Michaels call Thursday and Tirico call Sunday.

I wonder if the contract contains a stipulation for illness? for death?

Exactly. The swimmers paid tens and tens of dollars to “security” and it was over. It was done. All they had to do was shut up, and they’d get away with their sorry-ass crime spree.

The first rule of Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club is: you do not talk about Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club. The second rule of Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club is: you do not talk about Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club.

I’d take the under.

I’d watch. I’d so watch.

I’m a little disappointed you guys didn’t cover Nia Ali’s son Titus Maximus. He has a name fit to be the king of sports babies.

Not a question, but a comment for Redford. My seven-year old just got home from school, and we have the equestrian final on in the background.

Goddammit.

¡Los Osos Gigantes!

That’s what? About a 2 meter drop?

If by “wrap” you mean condoms big enough to fit over the seats, then I agree.

You know what, buddy...you have a good point.

She’s just happy he gets to leave Brazil now.

Nah.

He can make that check payable to Rilma Dousseff.

There’s something missing here.

It’s going to cost Lochte tens and tens of dollars to bribe his way out of this.