Listen: gymnastics is magnificent. It’s a study in strength, power, agility, and grace. Even with the subjectivity of scoring, the drama of the pursuit of perfection is philosophically entertaining.

The Midwest with palm trees?

This list proves my disdain for the world is justified.

Some of these essays are interesting. Some, not so much.

“So am I. Oh, believe me, I absolutely cannot wait.” — Mikael Ekvall

Who do you want to blame for the Southern Strategy? Barry Goldwater in his opposition to the Civil Rights Act?

I’m looking forward to this year’s new projectile vomiting contest in Brazil to see if any of the water sports athletes can medal in more than one event.

I’m sure to stay grey, but the next time the guy pukes out some homophobic nonsense, I’d just ask him: so what?

Low-rent Brett Keisel. (Are we still playing this game?)

It’s not Fisher’s fault. He’s just another retread from Little Rock who won’t go away. That’s in this year.

Magnificent.

snatching up a free-falling Laremy Tunsil during the draft represents the smartest move the Dolphins have made in YEARS

One last try and then it’s off to the showers.

That’s enough.

Sweet Christ.

I hate you, Kinja.

It’s all part of a proud tradition of ranting against government spending while greatly expanding government.

Why not just this?

Why are we being treated as second class citizens?

But would anyone actually be surprised if JJJJJJJJJJJ signed Manziel tomorrow?