Geno Smith with a straight face

For animal crackers, as well as E.L. Fudge, I eat the feet first, then the lower half of the body below the heart, and then the head, and then the rest of the body.

Sure. Get me an agent.

This was probably about 5 minutes. I’m just goofin’, you know, riffing on an idea.

Part of their platform is that incumbents should not campaign against other incumbents.

Well, Lisa Borders is part of No Labels.

That this picture is in the Kansas state Capitol is crazier than anything I wrote.

What are you talking about? This tweet is terrifying.

Counterpoint: Melania Trump is merely functioning as a human aggregator site and/or she’s liberally sampling.

He gives himself up and the blobs in blue still tackle him.

Yeah. On my Chromebook, I haven’t been able to see who has liked a post for that long, either. I click on “10 others” and nothing happens.

The kid just learned to tie his shoes three years ago. There’s no way he should be driving already.

Add it to the list!

Yeah, it was Chicago fans, I think. But it was on a coach. I don’t know if it should be only fan-on-fan, but if it’s not, then I vote for Monica Seles.

All tweets are bad tweets, but some Tweedy is great Tweedy.

Yeah, not by a longshot, but to be beaten until your eye pops out of your skull because of NFL fandom is so incredibly stupid.

Damn it, Philadelphia. Why do you got to be so you?

All true. But at least he didn’t drop an awkward Pokemon reference.

He is. There was this article.

Exactly.