The mouthguard gif is great. It’s a whole new “Back. And to the left...Back. And to the left.” Only we have actual video.

I don’t trust NASA or SpaceX to solve this problem.

Oh, he can eat a bowlful.

I’d want to get paid, too, if I knew I were going to spend 40 minutes on the field every game mopping up butt fumbles.

And Tevin Elliot just fell into Jasmin Hernandez.

Oh, if only there were still mills in Blawnox (I’m from the region as well.)

That’s the middle eight: Kuhnhackl, Hagelin, Kuhnhackl, Hagelin

Yeah, right. Way to cover for Paulie and Silvio sending a message that Philly should lose by at least 11 the first time the Eagles play the Giants.

Coffey, Coffey, Coffey, Barrasso.

I wish I could have seen it, but this is how I imagine it, only with every Kessel-looking Yinzer mumbling “Kessel, Kessel, Kessel” with mouths full of processed meat.

If it burns when you pee, what happened in Vegas ain’t going to stay in Vegas.

I’d love for this to completely devolve into the Roman orgy that is Vegas: topless showgirls dancing on a platform hanging over the ice between periods, $3.99 all-you-can-eat shrimp buffets every 30 feet along the entire concourse, an ATM planted in the armrest of every single seat.

You still have your great-grandfather’s lederhosen, so why waste it? The price is right, and a good leather garment is durable enough to last for generations.

I like to imagine Tomsula out cutting wood in lederhosen and a Tyrolean hat.

Ha. I spent a total of three years — mostly as a college dropout and then a returning undergraduate — working mostly night shift in group home settings for people with developmental disabilities. The basic duties were to clean and to make sure no one hurts themselves and/or wanders off at 4am.

I don’t open my door for solicitors, but I would for Jim Tomsula.

Well, it’s just Jim now.

I suspect there will be two main types of voters in this poll:

I swear I’ve actually done three of those, although two of them are really just the same janitorial job.

For the past few months, I wake up, drink 10 cups of a 12 cup pot of coffee, and ruefully mull over how I’ve wasted my life while I get ready to go for a 20-mile bike ride.