So, judging by that top photo, Allison Janney is definitely going to play Dominguez when this gets dramatized, right?

For the right price, maybe all of them?

I’m all for Jezebel turning the boner clinic guy into the next lion-shooting dentist.

Apparently, her husband also damaged her vocal chords.

Give me the phoniest redemption tale and I’ll usually buy it.

Cam blew it, but so did Peyton.

And, oh, Jesus Christ, to the greys who think they’re being intelligent by mistakenly pointing out I misused “ironic”, all you’re doing is proving that you are actually the ones who don’t know the meaning of the word “ironic”.

Is this the first comment section on a Cam Newton article that you’ve ever read?

OK, I’ll clarify before this goes too far: my comment is ironic.

Here, I’ll save a lot of people some time:

Oh no! Strangers on the Internet don’t like the fact that I have my own opinions about events.

But 2 for 2? That’s a 100% product placement completion percentage.

a third-rate Belgian lager

There’s nothing better as a chaser for Toradol than Budweiser. Budweiser, the King of Beers.

But was Peyton Manning the first quarterback to work product placement into two postgame interviews?

And the Denver defense cheated by wearing kryptonite face masks.

Sure, it does. Norman didn’t have his head down staring at his shoes by the middle of the second quarter.

I once knew a guy, we’ll call him Mouth, who endlessly talked shit, no matter the situation. Whatever he did, he was a virtual superman. And he just would not ever let up.

This is so unfair. The Girl Scouts did like it, and they did put a ring on it.

Greatest Super Bowl moment.