Unless your name is “Neil Young” or “John Popper,” no, do not learn the harmonica.

This year’s rule change allows a 7th 6th man on the bench, not 6th 5th man on the court.

Nobody do it.

But what price risibility? Tut, tut, a droll wit earns its own dividends.

I rode the Metro for a bunch of years. In light of all the body fluids and human waste that are everywhere, this is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on public transportation:

Money and connections are not the same. Noblesse oblige still exists.

But without Columbia where would America get its most self-absorbed journalists? Where? Where?

Replace your divots.

When I hear someone went to Brown, Cornell, or Dartmouth, I think: “So, of money, connections, and grades, which one are you missing?”

Avery Williamson and Wesley Woodyard

Ditto absolutely everything for me, except PINE. I realized the other day that I’ve had an e-mail address for more than 20 years.

Holy shit. Jim? John? Which Harbaugh are you?

Jesus Christ. It’s like you have never actually watched the Ravens.

How can I watch a Saints game without two dozen random cuts to Rob Ryan? How?

The key word there is “Baltimore.”

The NFL only “admitted a mistake” so Harbaugh would stop crying.

Because of my inner festering hillfolk soul (?), I can tell you that you can tap any maple and create your own maple water, but sugar maples are best.

Not the kind of twist he prefers.