Worst Eastern Motors commercial ever.

He wins and is benched?

Nope. It’s pure selfishness on my part. Even if a RICO charge wouldn’t stick, at least I’d get a break from some of the most obnoxious commercials ever created.

Every tv commercial for DraftKings and FanDuel (we don’t have time for spaces, chumps!) is the equivalent of reading this in a comment thread:

Exactly.

Other reasons for not painting the gold 50s:

But we knew that before this video.

It’s a fraud. With all those lens flares, you can tell JJ Abrams shot this.

Exactly. This is the Internet. Uninformed opinions are actually the power source. Without them, the entire Internet would crash, Amazon would go under, and take the US — and then the global — economy with it.

Anyone else notice that they cut off the tips of his horns?

You worked Danelaw into a post.

Especially if you Chase the Ace off the mangled mound. Let There Be Rock in the parking lot, not in the infield. So, the grounds crew should Shake a Leg and fix it before someone falls Deep in the Hole or a player suffers another Landslide on the Badlands.

I think that’s a fair wage for watching the Vikings.

I don’t know if this is a troll job, or if you are truly stupid. You do realize that walking into a lake would be a very short walk before drowning, right? Just ask Virginia Woolf.

Meh. I got to the story late, and the comment requires some knowledge of the process of Catholic sainthood.

This article should be titled: “The Scab Falls Off.”

He’d get the snot beatified out of him, for sure.

Harvick: I’m tellin’ ya, my average fan has more teeth.

A. Kelly’s general ineptitude +

It’s an NFC East Race to the Bottom!