I guess he could have shown up with his trumpet, but honestly what were they expecting when they asked a bassist to perform a musical piece?

I can’t even tell any more, man.

If you’re giving 110% of what you got - but you don’t got much because of where you’re from - that’s excusable and even laudable. If you’re gaming the system in ways that are obviously not related to your skill or effort but instead about politically positioning yourself to achieve with the bare minimum effort? That’s…

He’s King Lear without a Cordelia.

Oprah get more votes from white women than Hillary did. So there’s that...

Well, let’s be clear. In almost every situation I’ve witnessed, parents telling their daughters not to date someone has almost always resulted in the daughter alienating the parents and potentially committing even more to the shitty dude.

The only thing he’s not doing well is talking about his daughter to the media.

If you’re not trained, and if you have a criminal disposition—a violent disposition—it can be turned into a killing machine.

Pfffft. Jen and Brad reuniting wouldn’t be interesting. Jen and Angelina hooking up, marrying, and staying married would be interesting! #jengelina

Don’t worry Ciara, I’m sure after Russel’s next contract negotiation, you’ll finally be able to afford to put some pictures in those frames.

I was literally thinking just yesterday about how great it would be to be Jen Aniston. Do yoga, drink smart water, drink maragaritas, hang out with your girlfriends, film one shitty movie a year, slather yourself in aveeno, go to mexico.

While this is true in terms of the public dissection of her; Jennifer Aniston leads a pretty charmed life. Not saying that this won’t hurt, but she has managed to create a fairly cushy existence* which can be hard to glimpse through the ‘poor Jennifer’ narrative.

Isn’t Ciara’s baby Sienna, not Sierra?

Being married is hard.

Babies are cute.

Thirst does not age well.

The end.

It seems like being a judge is mostly really boring, so they take advantage of any opening.

See also:

And if you’re not trained, and if you have a criminal disposition, a violent disposition, it can be turned into a killing machine.

The judge was for sure getting a little snarky, but “modicum” and “banal” are in fact terms used when discussing whether a work of authorship is protectible.

Just talking isn’t rapping.

Accountants gonna fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge...