I bet it passes because any time you put police on the ballot, it’s gonna fucking pass regardless of whatever else is on there.

Why would anyone want ketchup sauce and cheese on perfectly fine fried chicken?

Anyone who thinks that Beyonce is going to liberate them from anything is basically living their life on Tumblr.

Did he make them hot cocoa and then show them their names in the Mormon Book of the Unpermittedly Baptised?

Depending on what grades they are supposed to be in, you should really fuck with her. Like if they are studying something in Math like the basics of addition, ask them if they know their times tables. If they are studying the founding of America, ask them if they know about the French/Indian War. Don’t try and blow…

Why does Gal Gadot’s head look Photoshopped on her body?

Sausage. They chase it with sausage.

I think it’s a pretty good dream to aspire to.

Katie: Skrillix, what’s your process?

“Oh you guys are going to ____? Never heard of it. I was going to stay in tonight and watch Netflix.”

I hope the straight best friend becomes a thing. And they’re just there as background, eating chips or whatever.

I guess this is why I didn’t go to law school because I wouldn’t just make an insane claim that someone was awarded magna cum laude “just because”.

And if Columbia didn’t do this then why would these lawyers make this claim?

Defendant Columbia also awarded Emma Sulkowicz Magna Cum Laude honors, which is not based on grade point average;

Clearly North is Kim’s to Kris Jenner for the foreseeable future. Kanye wants a Kanye to Kanye for that time too.

God fucking forbid you’re forced to read about the human experience.

I look at it like a group of people who just know what language to use to con people. If your audience is old white people who lived in a time of racism and ruefully watched as civil rights happened during their lifetime, you’re going to create an alternate reality where it stopped existing and that group no longer…

Not to mention a liquor that you would have to seriously hunt down or already be a bartender to get. Fuck that.

He knows that most people just want the same thing they’ve had before. He doesn’t have to give them anything other than fart jokes, gay jokes, mild racism, hot chicks, and a story about parenting where a dumb asshole learns to be a person. The end.

He’d be classy and buy them dinner first.