You write “= Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” like it’s a bad thing....

My grandmother’s depression glass creamer/sugar bowl set holds my joints.

Nicolas Cage is hot in this movie. Full stop. No explanation needed. 

Best lines...I’ll start:
Do you love him, Loretta?
Aw, ma, I love him awful.
Oh, God, that’s too bad.

Thank you for reminding me this website’s target audience is half my age. 

the Destiny’s Child alum you’d least like to hear from

Hello, we are currently down people and yet five of us will be on tonight liveblogging and writing about the debates as ever. One post does not signal a change in editorial strategy! I realize and sympathize that there is a temptation to believe that we are flipping the switch given all the recent fuckery yonder, but…

Hold up now, Family Matters at least had the distinction of being utterly batshit insane! To paraphrase Key & Peele, they turned a blue-collar Cosby Show into Quantum Leap. To this day, I’m still amazed by that. 

Thank you for being a friend,

During a bout of insomnia I speed-read Jodi Sweetin’s memoirs, which compelled me to go back and watch some episodes of Full House, and then Fuller House, which in turn prompted me to look up ancient family curses that kill one’s spouse after the birth of a third child, concluded with a Googling of the Olsen Twins and…

Let us all hope this teet runneth dry, because the Full House Cow has been thoroughly milked, imho.

Agreed. I know were’s supposed to drag the Trumps for literally everything, but to call full size Hershey bars “the worst” is really, really stretching things.

Esther, what are you sitting here slandering Hershey’s chocolate as the worst Halloween candy when Charleston Chew, Good & Plenty, Bit-o-Honey and Necco Wafers are floating around? Not to say anything of raisins!

If Hersheys is the worst you can conjure, you grew up in some high end trick or treating territory.

The one where the men were living in the wall still gets me. She kept finding her house covered in dust and couldn’t figure out why, mail was disappearing etc.. Turned out they were just hanging out behind her dresser (I think?) watching. 

“The Hand” is my favourite this year, I think. The thought of just a floating hand is creepier to me than any beastie in a horror movie for some reason. The crawlspace one is also fucked. It reminds me of one maybe last year or the year before where a girl’s neighbour was watching her through a little cave they’d made…

Maybe this is a good place to brag on my wife (slightly OT):

The year 1997 sucked. I was dumped and sad and lonely. One summer day, I drove about a half hour to my old hometown and drove around...I visited the Mom my best friend from 7th grade who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years and we caught up. She gave me my old BFF’s address which I promptly tossed on the kitchen table and…