Seriously...THIS is what Jezebel is telling us to be outraged about now? Emojis?

THEY'RE FUCKING EMOJI. I may be an oblivious white cunt, but I know this country's issues with race are deep and festering just below a very unstable surface of superficiality and demonstrative platitudes....and are far more fucking important THAN FUCKING EMOJI. But yeah, psycho. Have at it.

I have a stash in my basement. No shit, two big Rubbermaid bins full of old raver pants. Some of them will never fit again because I was a barely out of my teens, but others? My nostalgia will be just fine. I and my stash of phat pants await the throwback, and we shall be cool again.

No.

Definitely not.

I caught about 15 minutes of the special this weekend and that was my feeling too. What I saw of Beyonce was mostly her singing for 15 seconds and then gyrating with her backup dancers. I enjoyed what I saw of Jay-Z so much more because there were fewer distractions during his songs.

The movie addresses this early on.

Mine is called Uncle Joe. Last year, he gave me a thirty minute speech about how Obamacare is going to ruin the country and threw a tantrum in the middle of Christmas Eve dinner because the rest of us were making fun of Megyn Kelly's "Santa is white!" debacle.

This reminded of a letter to the editor in my local paper about that football team from Washington DC. This esteemed letter writer was like, "If Native Americans can get offended by that team's name, then I can get offended that Cracker Barrel is named after a racial slur for white people! How about everyone boycotts…

I have these people in my family, too. I used to try to explain things to them, you know, give them the benefit of the doubt, like maybe they just needed to be educated. Older generation, maybe it needs to be explained to them instead of just brushed off as, "Oh, they come from that generation."

WHAT THEN!!!!

Oh my God I would see a movie with this premise called Dear Uncle Bob.

Like Swamp Thing, Surge emerges—you thought you killed it, but it only came back stronger.

Forget Surge. Bring back Josta!

Even if he did mind, it wouldn't matter, because he cannot lie.

Absolutely not. Nor would I want any other brothers to deny.

He likes big butts, and he cannot lie.

You don't want him to lie, do you?

I'm sure Sir Mix-A-Lot doesn't mind talking about asses.

So her video is explicitly about her ass and her sex appeal but she finds being asked about it degrading? Huh?