Why does it have to be Baby Hitler, why not Art student Hitler? Its like a two-fer.

Do rapists ever admit that they are, in fact, rapists? Like say “yes, I see now that what I did was rape, and I feel so much shame and remorse”

“Would you like some ice cream? Well, here’s a big bag of rock salt!”

Clark Kent. His wholesome apple-pie childhood where he learned to be kind, thoughtful, and do the right thing did not need to become an angst ridden guilt trip over actually saving people.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

“You are the fattest person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting.” -Mom

drake can stop whining about good girls because he could literally afford millions of them.

Bear Meets Moron

Sometimes what doesnt kill you probably should have just killed you.

Blowtaku, part of Gunker Media.

Paul Blart definitely didn’t get any laughs. But I don’t think that had to do with the Segway.

I know, it’s weird. Segways are totally respectable and nobody has ever made fun of people who ride them. Put somebody on a Segway in a movie and it never gets a laugh and the character is seen as simply a reasonable person on a mobility device. It’s really incomprehensible. Hopefully someone here will explain it to…