A couple of years ago me and my brother were at the AFC Championship game in Foxboro. There were these drunk assholes(unbelievable, I know) standing in front of us for the whole game. The guys in the row behind us, one of which looked like what would happen if Sasquatch got fucked by a Viking, was getting more and…

Hillary Swank? Really? I mean, his form wasn’t that good, but OK...

Another handy tip for avoiding Nazis on Twitter: don’t use Twitter.

I am trying to be

Nationals Now Available to Attend White House Thunder Nationals.

Stolen from random on Twitter: “You can take the Nationals out of the Capital, but you can’t take the Capitals out of the Nationals”

“Sad story but I’m going to be an asshole anyway.”

You are a terrorist.

Team Petchesky here. If you are sitting next to me on a plane and break out a Ziploc bag of hard boiled eggs I am perfectly justified in thinking that you are a sociopath.

We’ve reached Peak Fantasy when the anti-fantasy-sports takes are worse than listening to someone talk about their fantasy team. Jesus Christ, that was a death march in text form.

Our path ahead is lit by the burned bridges behind us

Can’t get a concussion when you don’t have a brain. Eli’s playing the long game here.

Ford Flex Ecoboost. The anti-CUV. Designed with a ruler and not remotely lozenge shaped. 365hp stock. Three useful rows. I think they’re hilarious and have seriously considered one just for the “Did that blue refrigerator just smoke me off the light?” reaction.

“Used Magnums”

I just figured out how Trump won.

Lindsey Graham tweets some unnecessarily (and bizarrely specific) flattering bullshit about a guy who treats him and his entire party like trash. Isn’t that what the MAGAs would consider the very definition of a cuck? Or, am I doing this wrong?

So just like his dipshit son lies about crossfit, his dipshit dad lies about golf.

Same! Why not call them both :) :)

Thanks, I am Pretty Cool

It always has been. Men condescend disproportionately to women. Now that young women are, on average, more educated than men, and men are still explaining stuff we already know to us on a regular basis, this is getting named and called out.