Bartolo Colon: [approaches beer slip n slide]

Yeah....no

Seriously though, who brings a baby to a game?

We booed Santa Claus harder

(e) If, in the judgment of the umpire, a base runner willfully and deliberately interferes with a batted ball or a fielder in the act of fielding a batted ball with the obvious intent to break up a double play, the ball is dead. The umpire shall call the runner out for interference and also call out the batter-runner…

I don’t trust Alex Mack’s denial, something tells me this guy has a secret world.

Well I can now confirm my wife is not a horrible space creature.

This is an excellent problem to have, much better than the Mets’ usual problems.

And only a week and a half after they 4-game swept you out of your former home ballpark. Thanks, schedule gods, for all these games against the Rockies during the playoff race!

Did Karlos hurt his balls?

For whatever this is worth, my dad and his buddies regularly inform me how much better the comments are than the posts themselves.

Yeah, I’m sure you would do all of those things, Keyboard Warrior.

How much money did ESPN and Kansas University make while watching Joel Embiid play himself to the point of serious injury?

Glendavis Glen Ross.

Pirlo does not get boned. Pirlo does the boning.

Listen to this winner of the one-time WTA tour winner (2014 Topshelf Open in Rosmalen, Netherlands) with a 7-17 record in major tournaments, Carmelo.

This photo brought to you by “Tommy John” brand ulnar collateral ligament replacement clinics. Have you shredded your UCL into ribbons as Chris Sale is undoubtedly going to do in the next two seasons? Then come on down to Tommy John’s, and if you use the promo code “Deadcast” get 10% off anesthesia!

His wife shot him. Take the rest of the day off and vow to do better tomorrow.

Other than that, Cespedes had a great game last night. Went 2 for 4, had an RBI and put one in the upper deck.

The Cavs have been outscored by 13 points in the 22 minutes he’s sat, and by 22 points in the 228 minutes he’s played. On a per-48 basis, that’s losing by 5 when he plays and 28 when he doesn’t.