it was already done before TARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can someone let Gaston know there is a push up contest happening in my bedroom and he is invited? And by bedroom, I mean my bed. Clothing optional.

WOODY ALLEN: [leans in]

These Sony Leaks are getting more and more fascinating by the day.

PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT ATTITUDES TOWARDS SEX THAN ME?

I probably would have done the same as you. I had this test without any warning signs, and it was a good choice for me. Since our scans were "normal," the negative MaterniT21 result gave me enough peace of mind to skip the amnio even though I was advised clearly that there was a possibility of a false negative.

I'm sure his next show will be about a brave, intelligent tv and film writer who attempts to nobly tell it like it is with his scripts while being beset on all sides by shrewish, ungrateful women, one of whom is named "Schmalena Schmith."

ETA: He can call the show "Penis Mightier Than the Sword."

describing Robin Thicke as "the human version of a white leather couch" just made my week. I like to think of him, along with Adam Levine and John Mayer, as part of this three-piece set:

Someone needs to get that child out of the house. She does not look like she's being well taken care of. The family has fallen apart. And...I was a chubby kid who became a fat adult, and I'm not trying to either fat shame nor pick on her, but she has gone from chubby to obese since Honey Boo Boo has been on the air.…

As someone who is currently collecting the stories of women in my church who have experienced sexual abuse by their husbands out of duty/obligation (either implied or at the instruction of church leaders), this kind of crap really, really pisses me off.

you think pet owners should have tens of thousands saved up for their animals' health problems? Really? Gobsmacking. Pets only for the rich, says this person.

Too many people have to [put down their pets] watch their family members die because they cannot afford to pay the medical whatever. If you cannot afford to have a [pet] human relative, you shouldn't have one. . . . If you can't afford the medical bills, which could be up to thousands if not tens of thousands, you…

Of course, that would result in most pets never being adopted in the first place, and a whole lot of younger and healthier animals getting euthanized as a result.

From my point of view - better that I adopted my cat from the county shelter and gave him several years of a happy and healthy life. If I can't afford…

That banana situation looks more like a circumcision in process. We need a photo of the stem being clipped or something.

Penis, testicles, it's not like there's a vas deferens.

(PUNS!)

"According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... love?!? Who's been screwing with this thing?"

Oh my god... She's so much like my mom (tries to explain but fails at explaining pop-culture)! I love my mom, she's never wants to a cool mom, but she loves trying to deceipher pop-culture. And fun-fact: She loves Kill Bill. As evidenced from a recent profile picture.

You're doing it wrong. Try to convey submissive femininity, Madonna like purity, and "don't touch me or I'll gauge your eyes out" all at the same time. Go practice in the mirror for a few minutes and get back to us.

Finally, someone who can do all of a single pinterest page!

The first rule of rape club is, you're a terrible fucking human being for being in rape club.