You have to try the lozenges.

Ain't no thing. No one should crucify you for not knowing the Browns linebackers.

Must have been some shart...D'qwell Jackson has to jump over it.

Bereaveland.

Wilbert Harrison heard about the crazy little women there, but he didn't realize it was this bad.

Premature ejaculation? You mean, ejaculation?

We should only have to suck off Puig if he actually makes an out.

He is like the substitute teacher of coaches....throw in a movie and hope that no one asks you to teach.

At least girls will wipe your ass and take care of you when you die. Boys have their own families to worry about.

I always give a tip when I get takeout. "Don't wear your jammies in the bubble bath."

The water and seeds were funny, but a man's crotch was takin it to a whole notha level.

Fake. If this was Raiders football he would have fumbled the punt, Mike Silver would write a critical column, and Raider nation would threaten his life.

Aaand Ben Roethlisberger just bought season tickets.

Maybe he was working on some electrical work and had a mishap, hence the Radio Shack guy.

Abobo Jones

I wish I could be friends with this guy so I know if John Cena will win

I didn't know Letterman was a Phillies fan.

Is that a mug shot or a bug shot? #Calaminelotion

Wait. I thought Barry Darsow portrayed Doink. Oh god. I have a lower back tattoo that is going to need major revisions.

Does he know that this is a simulation and not the playoffs?