Because I’m a dick. Welcome to Deadspin for the first time.

When you have a franchise guy in any sport, it just makes sense to bring them along slowly. As an example, Mark Sanchez restricted himself to teens for a loooong time.

I’d go more towards a Dewars White Label blended for an intro scotch. If you don’t like it straight, you could always mix it with soda without shelling out a ton of money.

Robert Morin wouldn’t give a shit what the university spent the money on, but I suspect he’d be outraged that they opted to turn him into a caricature rather than simply honoring him with a plaque in the library.

From reading this piece, which was excellent by the way, I felt like he honestly wouldn’t have cared. Whatever the school spent it on, it’s their decision. To wrap up their decision in some faux “love of football” is the messed up part.

And of course you’re genuinely trying to help people and not just using something you think makes a handy bludgeon. Jesus, what an asshole.

Oh honey. I get it. I really, really do.

More than 10 times a day. And it really, truly is mentally and spiritually exhausting. I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I were one of the dozens of millions of people who sit more squarely in the crosshairs of the cruelty and hatred he embodies.

So, seriously, I know we’re 10 months in but how often do the rest of you have one of those “Oh right, Donald Fucking Trump is the President of the United States” moments? It happens to me less often now but still, you know, once or twice a week. The guy they used to make fun of in Bloom County, the guy Ali G screwed…

Dude is running out of finite energy.

I honestly don’t understand how the people working around him could allow this. Even if it is totally heartfelt, the optics are terrible.

The answer is obvious.

Thanks, but the last time I tried to chat up a random sixteen year old online it started this WHOLE BIG THING.

I was raised not to stare at people who have disabilities, so maybe every hiker that passed her just kinda awkwardly looked the other way when she walked by.

Calm down, Megyn Kelly.

I'd wager a lot more non-wrestling fans would know what you meant by "a Stone Cold Stunner" than any of those others.

He’s not renting it shoes, dude. He’s not buying it a fucking beer.

So, I gotta ask..