Acceptable time to start listening to Christmas music: right after the Macy’s parade is done. Anything earlier creeps me out and/or gives me a headache.

Facebook exists so you can post a picture of you and your wife at the Eiffel Tower 12 years ago, so people think you’re a sympathetic person who cares about the suffering of others AND you’re a cultured world traveler who does cool shit.

“People who “just aren’t on social media”: What are they hiding? Is it fair to assume they’ve all got some deep, dark secret (married a cousin, in witness protection, a tattoo of the full cast of the Airwolf TV show) that they just can’t let anyone find out about, and they’re afraid that if they sign up for Facebook,…

Facebook is a way for lonely narcissists to continually assert their need to be seen and interacted with if only in the most distant way imagineable.

Speaking from the perspective of being a man, I find this somewhat inflammatory because the same question can be asked of women: “why can’t you be more emotionally detached?” If feminism is all about equal rights for both sexes, then stop forcing this stuff down our throats that we need to think like you.