I was thinking more Disney-style: Air Spud

Please tell me Skylark Co. is using intercontinental ballistic potato guns.

It is! But this is the second funniest Lorde thing I've ever seen after the ruler one.

uh, When and where are PRETTY MAJOR DETAILS DUDE.

It's not easy, okay?

their first tweet was pretty great too

Bravo! People see me drinking my smoothies and juices and are all like, "are you on a cleaaaaaaaanse????" And im always like, "no, sucker, im drinking vegetables bc I hate chewing them. I like a liquid delivery system and I chew nothing but Nutella crepes."

Oh, I am - my kids were the ones who perked up when they saw it. I'll eat just about anything, but this...this gave me pause.

Except that Hilary has very publicly, and way too politely if you ask me, asked him to move on.

No, that's Melissa Joan Hart.

Seriously. It's all well and good not to care what your "fans" think about you trying to get back your ex. It's fucking unacceptable not to care what your ex thinks about it.

I think the lesson here is to write down all of the details while being raped. It's the only way to be sure. Maybe tell your rapists to set up a camera. Otherwise, you bitches be lyin'.

This is really bad, but a few things worth remembering:

One hand: good for him.

Wait, I thought articles on bleached assholes was more of a Mark kind of article? Are you trying to get in on Mark's territory, Kate? Not cool.

*Plenty* of white people are that oblivious. At least where I am. I personally know a lot of smart, kind-hearted white people who are totes ignorant because they have lived their entire lives in a wealthy, all-white world. I explained the concept of microaggressions to a few of them the other day; they were very…

I am making a facial expression I can only describe as sitting at the midway point between awe and horror.

I would just like to warn everyone about potential negative effects stemming from the new Doritos® Brand Cool Ranchier 9" Double Dong Dildo™. That fucking thing cuts the shit out of the roof of any orifice you insert it into. And the "sensitizing flavor powder" stains the shit out of your bedsheets.

this is such a great comment, i love the spirit of it, and now i am going to ruin ducks for you.