Next week on the stunning finale of "Models Delivering Coke and Sushi" — Jack and Christopher die in a tragic gasoline fight accident.

Don't be silly, that's not sexist, that's just BIOTECH INNOVATION IN ACTION

HAHAHAHA no no let me apologize! Normally I am much better at noticing sarcasm (I swear) I had just had enough of the comments on this article for that day. I reread your comment and I giggled. But dude, how much better do I feel that you aren't actually a sexist douche bag? This ended up making my day! You are like…

On the plus side, they managed to insult the gamers by suggesting they are compulsive masturbators, and that playing these games is akin to compulsive masturbation as well. That may be true, of course, but penis-having gamers should be upset too.

I don't get this line of thinking, either. I was arguing with an older, male friend yesterday about this and he just kept repeating the same question: "How come they're only coming out now?" And even though I told him to his face that they did come out back then, but no one cared or listened or told them it was their…

Well a lot of those Jews didn't complain about the holocaust right away. I mean if something bad happened they should have reported it to the police.

I would like to point out that this dumb motherfucker's apology includes the phrase "a different tact." Tack. Tack, you dumb fuck.

Yeah, I'm guessing the fact that he's behind bars and will be for the rest of his (presumably relatively short) life makes him seem benign, in a way.

It's right next to the fondue fork.

Who's biting whose style?

Dear NSA: I AM NOT NOW NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN A MEMBER OF THE CLOWNINIST PARTY.

I'm pretty sure nobody is willing to mess with the Swiss because Alps, actually.

If it didn't, I'm starting one, because anyone who likes clowns cannot in any way be trusted. The only proper response to a clown is fear. Just like arachnids and snakes, the human mind is designed to be scared of them, and for a very good evolutionary reason. Natural selection will bear me out. A thousand years…

The real question here is, why didn't he bite the knife. Did he even consider not being stabbed? He should have just done anything except be stabbed by the knife. But no. He had to. He had to be stabbed by the knife.

I'm pretty sure the fact that you professed to having a favorite clown on the internet just landed you on some kind of watchlist.

When I read the headline I made a flippant "ByeFelipe" comment to myself and now all I can think is "Jesus, take the fucking wheel already!!!"

^^^Someone obviously unfamiliar with the complete and utter uselessness of a Swiss Army Knife. Speaking as a person with said experience, it's a damn good thing that Switzerland is militarily neutral, elsewise they'd have been slaughtered in less time than it takes to say, "fuck, that's the nail file. Why does this…

And now I'm mad at Eminem for making me agree with Iggy Azalea. Nooo....

Because that 26 year old isn't dating them and they're upset about it because they're nice guys and THEY deserve the 26 year old, goddamn it.

*eyes roll out of skull*

"We weren't happy with the last [boyfriend]. He just wasn't someone our family approved of . . . He was older and she was just a teenager."