It’s not just real, it’s RATIONAL. Touchscreen smartphones are for people who want to fuck around with Spotify and video games and liking stuff on Facebook. If you are using a handheld devices to actually communicate with people, the keyboard is a MUST.

No, it does NOT need to be “monitored at all times” in order to maintain chain of custody. It merely needs to be secure.

And I always thought it was, “she’s all right, she’s all right, she’s all right . . . cocaine”!

Nope, you rinse/soak them, machine wash them on the gentle cycle, and use again.

Has it occurred to you that who is “best” is subjective and consequently, informed by sexism? And that consciously hiring people who are underrepresented it's a way to correct for that?

“...but I don’t read who’s on the packet. I don’t look at the name. I don’t look at the resume. I just read the jokes. If the jokes make me laugh then I go ‘Who is this person? We should call them.”

Afterthought: Your use of “dilatory” in a sentence makes me happy. So thank you for that!

Huh. Live and learn.

What are you talking about? They left late because Lauren Bessette was delayed at work, and then there was bad traffic. Regardless, it was John’s responsibility to fly safely or cancel the flight.