Yep, the PD’s response was utter idiocy, but I will offer this point:  When the officer says to put whatever it is down, please put it down.  Don’t give the hyper-hyped individual a segue into putting bullets into your body.  You may be on the moral high ground, but you’ll still be getting lowered into the ground for…

no one is this stupid

My friend Liz says you have to fight too much with King Crab to get to the meat,

Is it wrong that I cracked a huge smile while reading this nonsense?

Ya know, in principle I agree with you. But sometimes its just sooooooo satisfying to give someone exactly what they’re asking for. Case in point...

. . . like Myanmar?

The Kardashians Koverage has gotten me so cynical that I just wonder whether Jordyn Woods has her reality show contract signed yet.

I heard that he thought/knew he was being written out of the show

If she did make good on her threats, it would have been real awkward when his fellow police officers showed up to burn a cross on his lawn and lynch him.

“Social security will be bankrupt by then”

Yep, he’ll go on a 10-city tour where he wails about being kept separated from his GRANDCHILD!! How dare they keep the baby away from its grandfather?! What monsters!

(insert eye roll emoji)

On the train, I started to smell something foul. I glanced towards the back where there was a young woman changing a poopy diaper. Not the greatest situation, but I shrugged it off.

“Wyatt also said that Cosby believes he is a “political prisoner,” targeted for his social and political views much like heroes Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela.”

Ah, yes, hockey. The safest and least violent of sports.

Reminds me of an article that quoted a woman in Florida shortly after the shut down began. She said “He’s not hurting the people he’s supposed to be hurting.” Let that sink in for a minute. A woman voted this man into office thinking his main responsibility was to hurt a segment of the population she didn’t like. This…

Racism is a hell of a drug.

This probably counts as a war crime against Italians, but here goes:

Something tells me that charting was to fend of a six-way fruit fruit homicide spree, the only sentence of which that could be deciphered by human ears being “HE GOT MORE THAN ME NO FAIR!”

So... basically chili but you forgot a bunch of ingredients?