One does not simply cross-section into Mordor...

There is no comparison. Hillary shows no signs of dementia, unlike Trump, who practically shouts it every day.

And the anger. I mean, Trump seems always to have been an aggressive person, but the way he lashes out these days or just randomly bolts from a room like “F*** this, I’m leaving” reminds me SO much of my grandfather during his dementia years. He would get confused/overwhelmed and his response would be to get pissed…

When my coworker asked me how it was genetically possible for my husband and I to have a blue eyed, blonde haired child, I quoted two verses of “All I Want to Do is Make Love to You" before he figured out the joke.

When I was working on a project, this guy started telling stories that were lifted word for word from Bill Maher’s novel. I’m probably the only other person to have read it. Of course, since I’m a dick, I told everyone, and we spent the rest of the project talking about the time the we were walking home in a ham…

I got my BA and MA in writing and I could NOT believe how many people plagiarized work in the time I was there, most of whom totally got busted. It was embarrassing enough when people stole from famous novelists but a year after I graduated, someone turned in a paper I WROTE with like one word in every sentence…

This has been my favorite story all week. Influensters are insufferable and I think it’s hilarious.

The Proud Incels...

If they show up anyway they probably just showed up for drinks. At which time you explain your home is not an open bar, and that PBR is going to cost 4 dollars, exact change only. Then don’t charge the relatives you like, explaining they are “regulars”.

Fuck. Gender reveals, promposals, elaborate birthday parties for two-year olds... The apocalypse can’t come soon enough.

There’s a hint of blue smoke to signify a boy, but it’s quickly overpowered by fire and dust and earth and shrapnel and various other scary shit flying through the air.

they have the president’s sons’ cellphone numbers on speed dial.

“I don’t like identity politics,” Mr. Eure said.

I’m the youngest of a multiple children. Despite the fact we age at the same rate, I’ll always be the baby who needs taking care of even though I’ve loaned money to all my siblings at one time or another. Even though I’m in my 40s with a family and career, my sister will explode about once a year and yell at me to get…

Wow, Ratatouille 2 took a really dark turn...

and Wallis Simpson and Edward VIII are buried on the grounds of the Frogmore estate

Pity it wasn’t an RV haunted by meth cooks. 

There is nothing tragic about this. There is, however, some sort of poetic justice. Clearly, God wanted him dead - isn’t that how it works?

Dude’s going to meet his maker with “fucking nigger” on his lips.