My ex can’t drink because of a medical condition.  I don’t drink anything when I have to drive.  Good luck parking 2 non drinkers at the bar who are going to drink water while they wait for their table.

I had one years ago in Nova Scotia. Surprisingly it wasn’t bad. Mainly because if you screw up serving lobster in a lobster region you will never ever live it down. Basically, it was lobster salad on a hot dog bun.

They’re using each other.  I can’t imagine any other scenario.

This is the same person who demanded that Anita Hill apologize to her husband. So yeah...

Since March 1 I’ve been dreading this day. I live in a notorious school party town. This will be the first fully open unmasked St Patricks day in 2 years. Drunks puking and partying at 8am is standard fare. It’s a Thursday so they can blow off Friday’s classes and party again on Saturday.

Yes, otherwise The Great Gatsby, almost any version would be included.

a banana, eaten slowly, also because the peels stink

a banana, eaten slowly, also because the peels stink

I have no respect for the guidance counsellor who said it was a waste of time for me to take classes aimed at getting into college. I would do better if I stayed in the general program and be happy with just a high school diploma. BA Eng Lit, bitch!

Jelly beans in different colours. Red means good. Green means bad. Yellow is neutral. Do something good, you get one red jelly bean, do something bad or not do a chore, green bean. I could give them a green jelly bean and they knew what it meant without a word.

I used to do food delivery. It wasn’t the weather. It was the customers. Yea, the roads haven’t been plowed yet and I have to park 2 blocks away from your house so don’t get mad because your order is taking longer.  Also, FFS turn on your house light and maybe shovel a bit of the snow off the sidewalk. 

I’m currently eating from a Valentine loot bag that I received at work. Some of the drugstore pieces of chocolate aren’t too bad but I just felt my heart twitch so there is that.

Sex ed in the mid-70s.  We were told that married couples always had simultaneous orgasms. 

“I miss her” and I did everything except be a decent faithful partner and friend. Cry me a river. 

I liked the animation but I kept thinking of Moana’s songs which were instant ear candy. Away, away...

The Rock drove a boat into a tsunami wave and lived to talk about it. 

Every time I see that photo I imagine the husband is whispering to his wife. “The one on the left, do you think he’s down for some hotwife action?”

Khloe isn’t a minimum wage working mom with kids. She isn’t a SAHM who depends on her husband’s income and healthcare coverage for a sick kid. She has “fuck you” money and can walk away. The only person causing her public humiliation is Khloe herself.  Zero sympathy for her. She can afford a therapist to unpack why…

I’m not into celebrities but wasn’t Pete dating Kim K?

Damn, I wanted a New Years Eve show with all the Fox hosts gathered around the burned carcass of their Christmas tree and crying about how it was the worst thing to ever happen to mankind.