The same ones who were buying cupcakes a few years ago. That trend seems to have died.  A cupcake store was gone in less than a year here.  People walked in and saw cupcakes starting at $4 and walked back out. 

Call it a scarf, and gift it. 

The same ones who were outraged at Simone Biles for prioritizing her health.  

As a knitter, it is one of the best stress relievers.  You can knit 30 ft scarves or you can challenge yourself to make more intricate things.  That cat couch is perfection. 

Because 2021 needs more fuel to continue it’s reign as a dumpster fire. 

Waiting eagerly for the “That’s not who I am” apology after she gets fired from whatever she does to earn her daily bread. 

I’ve eaten that first slice of hot pizza in the parking lot before I turned on the engine. It is delicious and good and hot and tasty and worth it.

Nails like that scream I don’t give handjobs. 

Abortion is wrong! Except when they need one.  Fcking hypocrites. They make me believe in God because I know they’re all going to Hell. 

Salads.  Because one person always manages to eat all of the olives. And leaves the soggy croutons behind. 

A family member always flies first class and they get really salty whenever a prole tries to sneak into the first class section.  They have a nose that can sniff out an interloper in minutes. They have no problem summoning the flight attendant and demanding a ticket check. 

Did they inject their faces with cement?

I don’t get the need for all that space. I’d spent my nights laying in bed thinking “What’s that noise?” I really like small spaces, that place makes me nervous. I can imagine someone secretly living undiscovered in a room.

My cats always preferred brown paper bags because it was easier to destroy while another cat was inside it.

Butt hurt over a blink or miss it edit from a movie from the 90s? Hmm, someone is acting like a special snowflake. 

I do a Google alert on my name and once a month I get an alert about a county clerk and the townhall meeting they attend.  Next on the agenda: parking rates downtown.

The palpable fear that these guys have of a teenage girl is both amusing and frightening.

Our church used to have a secret Santa for the choir and the church staff (I was in the choir, I couldn’t sing but they were desperate for members). The most coveted gift was a 2 pound box of pistachios. At the end, the priest ended up with them. The unholy swearing and muttering from several choir members was…

The Ashley Madison account is the least scandalous thing. 

I think it’s optics. Joe doesn’t want to be handing money (even legally deserved) over to strippers because the Trumps/Foxxers will take it, twist it and hang him with it.