Am I the only one thinking shower curtains for the first photo?

He need to re-marry Sarah for redemption. Having her toes sucked is small potatoes. 

When I pump gas it has to be 4.00, 45.00, 21.00 etc.  The total must end in .00 and I will overfill the tank just to get the zeros.

Nothing shows your racial superiority like throwing around slurs and spitting at people.  He showed them who the master race is. 

You know they’re going to blame the dead woman for accepting the invitation knowing that death was a possible outcome along with learning the baby’s gender. 

“Let them eat cake.” They can’t even insult the peasants properly. 

Part of the marshmallow man left over from the Ghostbusters movie. Found on Trump property. Finders keepers...

They remind me of the scene in Animal House when a sorority sister snaps on a pair of rubber gloves to give her frat brother BF a handjob. 

Depends on how busy the driver is. The food sits in the car on the chance the customer decides to check their phone and realizes that the food they ordered was at their door 10 minutes ago.

As a side job, I sometimes do food delivery and over the years the biggest change aside from all the new apps is the sense of entitlement and delusional thinking on the customer end. You want your meal hot and fresh. I want to deliver it to you in a timely manner. Turn on your phone so you can see that I’m on my way.…

In my city car drivers will: stop to allow pedestrians to cross, stop for geese crossing, let people merge, move their car away from the gas pump so someone else can use it, slow down at construction sites, but they absolutely refused to use their turn signals.

I’m sure Trump picks out his own clothes....oh you meant the President’s child? I thought you meant the child President.

Jacob Rees-Mogg, with that name you know he got his ass kicked in school. 

Nothing says I love America more than a pair of Chinese made leggings rubbing up against your taint.

We saw someone pouring gas into their car from a large Timmies cup. We figured he needed just enough to get home, didn’t want to buy a container and gas so he finished off his coffee and got it filled without the attendant spotting him.

At least he spelled her name right.

I ask for a high five. It’s cool teaching them how to do it. 

I’m not a drinker but when I do this is my drink of choice and yes as a Canadian, it’s fucking delicious. Hot summer day, lounging outside, it’s the perfect thirst quencher. 

Every year we took a weekend trip to the same lake cottage. We had cutesy names for everything along the way (Old Man River because we talked to an old man while he was fishing (gag). When we broke up I knew I would never see that place again. I can’t bring myself to go with my new BF and explain why that big rock…

I hated that policy at one place. We got a 30  minute lunch break and 10 minutes of it was spent standing in line.