It was really about the Oreos. The meth excuse was to give you some dignity. 

Don’t think about the video evidence. Imagine if there wasn’t and it was her word against his. She would be jail right now looking at life.

This asshole recorded it (!?!!) WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK! and sent a copy to someone who had the moral decency to notify the police. He needs to fall into a cesspit and never get out.

This asshole recorded it (!?!!) WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK! and sent a copy to someone who had the moral decency to notify the police. He needs to fall into a cesspit and never get out.

Our cardinal rule was never let the mic out of our hands. That way it was much easier to cut off the long-winded. 

William looks like he’s checking the kid’s hair to see if it’s ready to be harvested for a toupee.

William looks like he’s checking the kid’s hair to see if it’s ready to be harvested for a toupee.

Why am I waiting for Bugs Bunny to come out and start conducting The Marriage of Figaro?

I did food delivery just before Ubereats, Grubhub and all those other apps took over. It was an independent one owner service and making money was easy. We got a percentage of the delivery fee and the tips were ours to keep. I could make between 100-150 a night and be home before 1000PM.   Most restaurants closed…

I’m willing to accept their sacrifice if it means I can stay in my pjs, watch Netflix and inhale a bag of them. 

24 Sussex Drive, Ottawa, Canada

Didn’t see any mention of Karen’s potato salad. 

His boner must have been so confused. “An attractive woman is touching me.” But it hurts so much!

My claustrophobia kicked in just reading this small excerpt. I’d need race horse levels of Ketamine to get me out of that place. 

Good. I’ve been waiting for a long time for this moronic trend to die it’s well deserved death.

Four kids stuffed into a hot car for a family trip. One is a car sick puker. Father is a smoker and doesn’t believe it. Cue the puker, then three other kids in sympathy because it’s hot and smoky. Mother is very pissed off because the car has to be turned around to clean the kids and car. Not me, my friend. I happened…

Blame it on bad BDSM instructions. 

My daughter, two c-sections both with 3 to 4 stays in the hospital. Their only expense was the hospital parking fees.  Yes, there are wait times for some things but overall, give me Canadian health care over American. 

Their burgers are worth smoke inhalation.

You aren’t familiar with my local Timmies drive thru. It’s filled with people making special orders under the belief that their order is faster, it’s not.