They should try North Korea, they’re our allies. 

Maybe a few of these outraged ICC Christians can visit the island to retrieve their buddy’s body. I’m sure that will end well *snicker*

Tear gas today. Live bullets tomorrow. Trump and Fox News’ wet dream is coming true.

My sister gave up her daily can of Coke and grazing on candies. She dropped 50 lbs. She always walked everywhere but the weight never came off until she cut out the sugar.

Pro tip, put the plate on the floor, not on the seat, otherwise it’s going to slide off and eating car floor food is just sad.

Thank Jebus I only sing the soundtrack from Moana.

Come on now. Trump says the fires were because the forests weren’t raked. Put the blame where it belongs; on every homeowner who got tired of making piles of leaves just for their dog to plow through them.

An “educated” friend fell for the Secret Shopper scam. She thought the text offering her a job came from a friend, even though she has no friends in the UK. She ended up having to pay her bank back almost $1,000. Why would a British bank need a secret shopper in Outer Bumfuck, Canada?

Our elderly mother has been schooled in never giving financial information over the phone or by letter. (She doesn’t have a computer). One sibling has access to her bank account to monitor for strange activity. She has a bank card and under no conditions is to let hungry relatives “borrow” it “just once.”

We called them Hydro coats.  A friend gave me one and it’s the only thing I wear when shoveling snow. Drab, warm and utilitarian. 20 years strong. 

I had a dishwasher. It was pain to load, it was noisy and took an hour to wash the dishes. If I forgot to put something in it I had to wait until the next time so there was always dishes sitting around. I’D rather wash my dishes while my meal was cooking. By the time I finished dinner, I only had my plate and utensils…

That’s me in a nutshell when I went back to school. The prof would ask a question and let in hang in the air while bored kids surfed the net.  I started answering just to move the class along and after a few weeks I became the default person to respond. Yes, I was middle-aged and black but I was paying my own dollars…

She’s gotta lumber into that store, white sheets ain’t gonna buy themselves.

A lot of ordinary people are discovering this after they unload their garbage on unsuspecting victims and then lose their jobs because not everyone loves a racist POS.

It started when he yelled Ivanka! while shtupping Melania.

He can go to their house, pour gasoline, light it on fire, burn it down and kick the family dog and they’d still be, “Pretty sure I saw Hilary hanging around the corner, just sayin..”

He could throw paper towel rolls at them.

Anytime before December 24.

This Pink Floyd song pierces my heart with it’s sadness and longing from the first time I heard it as a young optimist starting life.  Now I’m much older and jaded. The line, “The child is grown, the dream is gone” still breaks my heart whenever I hear it.
When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the…

How sad is your life when your defense is that you eat Burger King every day for lunch?