She french fries the entire way down. I watched three times just to be sure. Doesn’t pizza even once. This woman should be on a stamp.

I’d like to see you try and qualify for Women’s Freestyle Skiing, Patrick.

I think he already knows that.

Although I greatly admire the actions of this young man, he’s about to learn the hard life lesson that the GOP members of Congress don’t give a single fuck about him or any other student in America and will gladly see their lives violently sacrificed at the altar of their NRA masters.

Thoughts and prayers that this young man will see the light and buy a gun.

This mother fucker is like the Big Bang Theory took human form and I HATE IT SO MUCH. Fucking millennial focus-grouped dad joke. Goddamn AI built by a community college fraternity.

I dōn’t sēē whāt thē prōblēm īs?

I’ll do you one better, the overhead bins should lock upon landing and only be opened once everyone without overhead luggage has disembarked. I’ve got to sit and wait on the plane an extra 10 minutes while Drew and the rest of the mouth breathers pulls down 3 overstuffed carry-on bags each? That’s bullshit.

Does Barron’s t-shirt indicate he has been offered a position as advisor?

“Our goal is to facilitate positive discussion among solution-oriented people who believe in the power of sharing ideas and personal connections.”

for me personally if im going to put forth the effort to follow a story of absolutely zero consequence that is still repeatedly popping up in the news this week it has to be juicero. sorry to the partios players and coaches

Hello to my friends at Go-Gurt. No one eats yogurt on a skateboard.

We’re Americans, we can’t digest nuance or complexity. Can you dumb that down and remove any morally gray areas so we know who the bad guy is in a part of the world where perhaps a third of Americans can identify a country even when spotted the first three letters of it?

So how would you handle the opposition when they take power and start “cleansing” Syria of ethnic minorities?

Probably not. He’s a bad dude, but there’s probably some other monster waiting on deck. I’m not smart enough to know what the repercussions of my killing this guy would be, but I’m sure it isn’t a clean break toward the light.

It’s too simplistic of a case. Assad isn’t Hitler and the people that he is fighting against aren’t necessarily freedom fighters. Syria is way more complicated than that. Assad generally espouses secular and religiously-tolerant values as opposed to his opposition which is predominantly Islamist in nature. He is a…

Washing the laundry is no big deal.

A thought: MLB and NFL are both actively trying to repress expressions of joy during the games, and there are frequent worries about the NFL losing viewers and popularity, and MLB always struggling with “how can we make the game more enjoyable for fans” (of which they think game length is the true solution).

the best part about the highwaisted jean trend is a reprieve from seeing everyone’s goddamned whale tail

Bert and Ernie are muppets, not Muppets. Any puppet that came out of Jim Henson’s workshop is a muppet, but only those appearing on the Muppet Show are proper noun Muppets. It’s not a hard distinction, folks.