Ha! This site was formerly owned by Gawker. They’re also henpecked by their sister site, Jezebel. According to Deadspin/Jezebel, certain criminals get to move on with their lives while others don’t.

In theory, I love the beach. In reality, I usually want to leave after no more than 30 minutes.

Fuck the beach. The beach is the fucking worst. You know who goes to the beach? Miserable fucking people go to the beach, to pretend that they’re not miserable fucking people.

Chris’s wife sounds like a fucking champ. I don’t care how much the divorce costs, he needs to stumble the fuck away from her.

where on The Root where they have said to root for Mayweather:

I don’t feel sorry for this guy. He fucking sucks. He should sue Selig for lying to him and telling him he was good.

“The claws are out” because literally everyone EXCEPT Hernandez’s former boss agrees with Torre that Hernandez is and has always been a bad umpire.

You really don’t, though*.

Him and Bucknor are dumpster fires.

No you don’t. He should be discriminated against. Not because of racial reasons, but because he’s terrible at his job.

I’m not here to say whether Torre is a bigot or not, Hernández may have a point in regards to white umps getting promoted. I do know that Hernández doesn’t get to work World Series games because he’s a fucking terrible umpire.

Surprising absolutely everyone, the WNBA draft is tonight.

Ahh yes because your life has changed so dramatically in the last hour

Or he could sit around picking his nose not following through on idle threats like Obama did when Assad used chemical weapons on his own people. But I’m sure your idea is good too.

I appreciate you claiming your take, but I’m gonna have to disagree. Not that McCarthy can’t be funny, or sometimes hilarious, but top 5........nah

I’m 42, so I’ve probably already died, naturally mummified, and somehow still kept going on like I’m some sort of living human being.

She wasn’t gonna ‘sing’ any songs

“Help me!”

Maybe don’t encourage someone to actively make themselves less healthy and more likely to die young.