He looks like an abusive douche and she sounds like she was purposely trying to record a conversation with the sole intent of giving herself an out down the road if things went south.

Well, the real sad part is that Tom Brady has had to go to Buffalo 19 different times. So who’s really the loser in that story.

I feel bad for the guy and not because he made an honest mistake that in no way would make a thinking being believe he was racist, but for how he feels the need to fall all over himself explaining how he's the most in the tank liberal anyone could want to meet. Strange times. 

Joke’s on you! I was too fat to fit in a locker!

Shitwhole Foods?

yeah, i do not understand america’s fucking tax laws. why is anyone under- or over-withheld? do they (the irs? my employer? idk who even “they” is) not know how much tax should be withheld on each paycheck? could they not just...do that, and then there’s no tax day?

Why a dedicated screenshot button on a Mac keyboard doesn’t exist is beyond me. So many key presses...

The $1 balance on a gift card is also useful on sites like Priceline and Hotwire to reveal the identity of that “3.5 Star NYC” hotel without being stuck if you don’t like it.

Jacobs allegedly attempted to get out of a traffic ticket by telling the officer that he was the Bruins owner.

As a Bruins Season Ticket holder, this is the only other person who could believably pass as a Jacobs doppleganger

Great puns are done in simple fashion, working it into a common phrase or usage.

Just because you CAN post a photo of someone who’s out in public doesn’t mean you should. We’ve also run pieces about street photography encouraging people to ask permission before snapping a pic of someone. 

Oh that makes sense. You know like how in america since drugs are illegal the demand for them has tanked.

Yeah I’m not someone that usually puts animals before humans but something about Poaching and especially of endangered animals make me irrationally angry. I realize it’s not rational to be that upset but its just a shitty thing to do and I’m tired of these animals dying in agony for fucking snake oil. 

lol. “value realization leader.” what a fucking asshat.

Did they find their ball?

Everything Neil wrote — from the initial tweet to the response — was absolute garbage, including using his kid as a shield for his own opinions.

There was a six month period of my life where about 85-90% of my emails started with “per my previous email” and I wanted to kill everyone I came in contact with. It took everything in my body not to just say, “I told you this would happen you fucking idiots.” or “Pay attention. I don’t write this shit for my health.”

Goddamn kids. Not that kind of rally!

A baby shit in the pool at my local Y. That bitch was closed for two days. They have to burn this spot to the ground.