I generally despise commercial mayo as an abomination on humanity. However, this homemade bacon fat mayo sounds naughty in all the right ways.

Jail, and 5 years of mandatory sex with the mayor of Cell Block B.

Ezra has been a mess for years.

Once every 3 days? I wish. I have IBS+D and go 6 or more times a day. Once every 3 days would be a god send.

I wasn’t born there, but I grew up in western PA. I can detect a Pittsburgh access from the first word and my skin crawls when I hear yinz and younz.

Disney is good once every 10 years. I miss my grand kids, but mom & dad get to take them to Disney, not me.

I’ll do office things like pizza or a birthday cake for someone, but I don’t do after hours corporate events like Christmas parties or other events.

It’s great for reheating things, but unless I’m looking for a quick baked potato I don’t use it for cooking.

Girl gotta eat

I don’t shop at Walmart for anything.

Now we know what happens to your lungs during auto-fellatio.

I have conservative family members who used to post stupid shit on my Facebook page. I would delete it all the time and watch while they complained about their first amendment rights. When I reminded them that I am not the government and I am free to delete anything I want from my Facebook page, they stopped doing it.

There is a recipe here somewhere for a braised onion sauce that involves cooking onions in butter, sugar, and Madeira wine until it becomes almost a sweet jam. It takes forever, but totally worth it. I think roasting the onions first would add a great flavor to it.

Ezra has been a sloppy mess for years. This wasn’t a surprise.

So is he bragging that he was invited to get naked with Bitch McConnell or Lady Graham? Who offered their ass for him to snort coke off of?

Anything that isn’t related to Walmart is good enough for me.

Heidi who?

A friend of mine was getting married and had invited another friend of mine. Something happened at the very last minute and he wasn’t able to make it so his brother invited himself instead. His reasoning was “no need for them to waste a plate of food they already paid for”. Then he got drunk, stupid and draped himself…

It’s the day I stand around waiting for a “Christian” to burst into flames.

A high school friend came to visit and brought her then 6 year old daughter who was an evil witch. Her grandmother swore that the child could do no wrong and let her do whatever she wanted. The child knew it and used it as justification for being horrible. One evening when she was being particularly nasty I pulled out…