*Bobblehead of Leno's skull waggles on dashboard*

Oh my god the riff on True Detective's opening theme and imagery is great, I totally forgot about that from last year. I was excited about the Hillary anger translator too, it really paid off. Great to have the show back.

It's called Growing Up Hip-Hop, not Growing Up Secret Scientologist.

I'd rather die than give you control…of my intellectual property.

What's more, South Park told me he lost the weight with Aids.

So he tied an Oscar to his belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the red carpet cost a nickel, and in those days, carpets had pictures of Samuel Goldwyn on 'em. "Gimme five Sams for a throw rug," you'd say.

The sibling incest article is thataway.

When they backed out of the movie, was Keaton LEADING or FOLLOWING?

Slow clap for another ostensible main character getting surprisingly offed before anyone expected. And killed by…one of those medieval doctors wearing a mask from the Black Death?

*freeze frame* Looks like them implicit racist boys are at it again! *cut to commercial*

Resuming my record of laugh lines in dark dramas: "Aspen!…that's a boy's name?"

"I can't make a straight comment. I'm the designated gimmick account!"

Oh Homer, of course you'll have a bad impression of New Disqus if you only focus on the bots and the trolls.

The second drummer's drowned.

This stealth reboot is great! When can we watch it? You gotta try this pole! I'm gonna get my script. Hey - we should stay here. Tonight. Sleep here. You know, to try it out.

"There aren't a thousand dildos. There aren't even 200; I've counted."

Because Conan has been funny for 25 years and Silicon Valley is one of the best comedies on TV?

"Shut up! Shut up you American. You always talk, you Americans, you talk and you talk and say 'Let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this', Well you're dead now, so shut up."

Jesus this episode would have been roller coaster enough on its own by hilarious design. But it's like they colluded with GoT to give everyone a heart attack.

That's his secret, NotADog: he's always Tim Robbins.