I explained the details of the first day of court to a friend last night. I was so angry I literally could not sleep.

You really brought the receipts! as if they were needed.

That’s a great point I didn’t think of....a burglary. Not even armed? Around here you’ll wait a good hour at least before an officer responds.

Abaco

Support animals are such bullshit to me. You can even buy fake vests on Amazon. Have you ever read this story of a black man who was mauled on a Delta flight by a “support dog?”

You’re going to make me cry! I’m so glad you were able to read this article and take it in.

I feel like I should shout this periodically on the train as a non-sequitur.

The comments elsewhere are predictably disappointing. Jones is like no other and she can’t be replaced. As a sometimes watcher, I was always excited when she was in a sketch. People complain that she broke character too much or was one note. Leslie is anything but one note. Her diverse enthusiasm for things like the…

Whenever I see someone use multiple crying/laughing emojis in a rant it’s a tell that they are unhinged. It’s some bizarre mechanism to prove somehow that they aren’t mad.

For the Panthers first Super Bowl, I bought Hpnotiq and mixed it with vodka. I made the dip blue with food coloring. (I was in college, okay?) All I can remember is one of my guests saying “I saw Janet Jackson’s titty! It was big, and it was brown, and it was Janet Jackson’s titty!” Afterwards I was sobbing in the…

When I was around seven, my mom took me as her guest to a coworker’s wedding that was held on a plantation. Even then I was weirded out. I have not been near a plantation since.

Have you seen the video of the 11 year old, Magdalena Gomez Gregorio? I’m still shaken. People who see no wrong in this aren’t even human. Absolute monsters.

....and I’m the grey one. Thanks, Splinter! The Root will have me.

The video is so much worse. Anyone who can watch this little girl, Magdalena Gomez Gregorio, and feel okay with what ICE is doing is a fucking monster. Maybe the reporters shouldn’t have interviewed an 11 year old, but I think we can’t afford to look away at this point. I’m seriously upset.

“Well the 13-year-old child might have said ‘fuck you’” is a great defense.

I’m glad some petty jerk made this national news because the numbers on Jaxen’s GoFundMe are going up. Little man has been through a lot.

Just last night at a rezoning committee hearing I said “I didn’t introduce myself to Janelle!” My friend said “Her name is Danelle and you’ve met her. Janelle lives next to us.” I can’t keep up with the blondes.

I have a generic blonde work associate. I had to meet up with her in a large area, and I was so worried I wouldn’t recognize her I asked if she wouldn’t mind meeting “right beside the kiosk.” I’d already met her twice.

“Basket of lies” sounds like something Kellyanne Conway would say. Linda’s world has alternative facts.