I appreciate that he just wore long johns for this interview. It’s like when I try and pass a slip off as a dress or a sarong as a skirt.

Why does this all feel like an excuse to treat these celebrities as cruelly as possible. Genuine concern for other people’s health stands in the way of our ability laugh at them.

Bob has got this in the bag!!!

That’s a saying???

This makes me fucking livid.

I'm still mad I was not stoned for the premiere. I'm doing this again tomorrow night correctly.

That’s so sad my heart goes out to her and her family.

But seriously, people probably should have left Britney alone. She wasn’t well and never recovered. Its actually pretty sad but empathy might not be your thing.

All of my stars. please have them.

Oh my god that sentence though...

I was hoping for a Game style self portrait in watercolors with fewer hashtags because he is a classy prime minister type. #doeshelickitfromthebacktothefront?

1985 for me is the cut off.

I just imagined 21 million people on cocaine in one room.

It's really bad...

Explain how this study was framed perfectly and designed free of any prevailing social bias.

Risky erotic asphyxia should be the only way they claim a sperm sample I think.

I’m waiting for one of those douchey STEM bros(almost certainly a freshman undergrad) to attempt to manslplain this.

We took this little blimp as a favor for a family friend. We were told he was 4 months old and in good health. He weighed 35 pounds when he stepped out his crate. Needless to say he is a work in progress. This is good news.

Can Jezebel come out with a formal statement admitting they hate Taylor Swift and actively seek to guzzle her bland, reduced sodium tears???

Please make it happen. Cart this terrible lady away. she’s objectively the actual worst.