-Whitlock

Is it just me, or are about 5 guys on the bench for every guy on the field?!

No. Because with a fat guy touchdown, you get the fat guy dance.

Nope.

<german accent> I do!! I do!!! </german accent>

“psig”? As opposed to fucking psi? Jesus fuck, no wonder these people aren’t actual scientists.

It is more likely than not that I am in love with Anna Kendrick, and she is likely aware of my affections and desires me strongly.

On behalf of Red Sox fans everywhere, I hope A-Rod continues hitting and upsetting the Yankees.

I heard it burns you on the way out, though..

I’m Australian. Do you know what we call Australian Shepherds? We call them “Dogs”.

OK, so, I’m not sure if I can fit this all into one Kinja post! Hit me up on twitter (@bitpushr) and we can talk offline if you’d like.

I had no idea about that. Thanks for posting!

How do you have “relatively close” ties to someone?

Hello, mother. Hello, father. Here I am in.. a Ford Granada!

Shaun of the Dead is to Hot Fuzz as Beerfest is to Super Troopers. Or maybe the other way ‘round.

I know the word “literally” is used, like, literally to death, but I literally didn’t make it through the 1st half of the 2nd paragraph before turning on my TV, launching Netflix and starting to watch Hot Fuzz. Again.

Anyone else thinking of moving to Carson City and trying to hold a recall election to get these town councilors tossed out on their asses? Hit me up...

I own a 1969 Chevy El Camino that hasn’t run in a couple of years. It’s longer, rustier and probably even wider than your H1.

“I don’t see what the fuss is about. Hey, whose nachos are these?” -Bartolo Colon

Successful suicide squeeze? Also, alliteration