Sometimes there’s a man. I won’t say a hero, because what’s a “hero?” But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talking about Bark M., here. Sometimes, there’s a man. Well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there.

“A lot of people agree.”

Fuck it. I’ll live with my shame.

The data you don’t see, which you’ve decided to then make up.

Pennzoil’s so hot right now. Pennzoil.

Did anyone else watch that video with the obligatory Clarkson commentary on each corner running through their head, ending with an “and...across the line!” Because I did. So weird to watch a lap of the TG track like that.

I was a car stereo installer way back when that was a thing. My favorite customer experience was when a guy came in for a deck for his daughter’s spanking new Neon or something.

dirty diapers stuffed in McDonalds bags alongside half eaten cheeseburgers in the trunk

One dude on Facebook was losing his tits because this movie is “social engineering” and it lured him in with DUDE STUFF like cars and explosions and if it does really well at the box office, it will mean more movies about strong women.

SOCIAL ENGINEERING.

CHARLIZE THERON HAS MENSTRUATED ALL OVER MY MASCULINITY.

I think you broke everything.

That's not gone well...

Uh....

I’ve done it myself several times. And many of those times, there are people standing around who refuse to give you a hand because they don’t want to get their hands or clothes dirty, yet they expect youto give them a hand in the ’ve done it myself several times. And many of those times, there are people standing…

One time I saw Ethan Hawke and a really pretty woman walking around the French Quarter pre-Katrina.

My brother worked in the show at Medieval Times (Buena Park, CA) and was the DJ at the “Knight Club” after the show. This is around 1988. Wil Wheaton and posse come in and try to take over the place like real celebrities. Wil and crew let everyone know who he was (The Next Generation was in full swing and his voice…

One time about oh 2003-ish? I was staying at a friends’ house about 1/2 block away from MuchMusic HQ in Toronto during a weekend where some big music thing was going on there; I got hammered and fell asleep outside. I woke up fairly early and realized I was sleeping in the garden next to the fence. I stagged up, and…

In line at the Newport Music Hall in Columbus, OH, some douche was trying to “don’t you know who I am?” at the door, and eventually got shoved by someone, into me.