That is BMW!

Do you do parties?

Whoa.

Hahaha

Apply the Douglas Adams Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy approach and create a “Somebody Else’s Problem” Field around it. Make it even uglier, to the point where it’s easier to just ignore that it exists than deal with the reality.

No, but you should see the thing. It pisses me off and I own the fucker.

These people are clearly BMW owners. Their cars don’t come with mirrors.

My carbon feet are normal sized dammit!

The result is that it’s surprisingly easy to parallel park, and I do so frequently, except in liberal neighborhoods where people would slash my tires and say hurtful things about my carbon footprint.

It’s like phantom pains, for brakes.

The guy with three tickets who tells you to speed up.

My wife does this. Drives me crazy.

The people who ask incessant questions. “Where are you taking me?” “Why am I blindfolded?” “Am I ever going to see my family again?”

This is my girlfiriend, “turn there”, “turn where?”, “there”

Or the mall

Whenever my dad drives with me, and we get to an intersection that the cross traffic does not stop, he’ll lean forward to look his way and assure me that it is clear. Thanks but if you didn’t lean forward I could have seen just fine that it was clear as well

The one who screams to pull over when you’re running from the cops. That shit takes a lot of concentration, damnit. Don’t interfere

Lets not forget the current Olympic record holder:

For publicly traded companies, profits go to the shareholders. Shareholders can be any nationality.