Gay or straight, you don’t stand between a 20-something woman and her goddamn wedding. Fingers will be lost.

Um, WRONG.

Jolene could have kept her legs closed. In the song, the boyfriend is clearly struggling to remain faithful and Dolly is like, “Hey, Jo. You’re hot. I get it. I feel you, but, like, can you tone it with the push-up bra and leaning into his ear to giggle at parties?!”

Ugh, Jolene.

That’s even better if you take the 2015 definition of “basic”.

Could it be that you and your three friends aren’t representative of America’s comedy landscape?

I know; I’m gasping too.

I’ve been skinny my whole life and fat women hate me! It’s just so hard! Like, be considerate, y’know! I wanted bigger tits so bad as a girl! How dare you, Amy????”

“I hated my freckles as a kid”

Amy schumer is still pretty small potatoes in the fame game.

Hardly. She just turned down the Daily Show. She’s a comedian first and an actress second. She’s crossed the fame threshold of her career path a while ago. And with her body and self-brand so tied to her body, the most cynical thing about her might be that…

Oh please. This has everything to do with other people and nothing at all to do with her personal body. The fact is that Amy is on the heavy side, and zaftig if you want to be polite about it.

OK. What’s your point?

Jesus, she’s not pointing the finger at skinny women. She is speaking of the nebulous alternative of her own body. People have GOT to stop taking things so personally. Isn’t it exhausting? If she was responding to someone who slammed her for her body, we could have a point of comparison, but she’s not. She is just…

We all know.

Ew. Corner back. Who cares?

http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2015…

My favorite bro-viewer certainly disagrees.

It was beautiful to look at: it still absolutely didn’t go anywhere. The Sand Snakes were fan favorites for a reason. The illegitimate daughters of a beloved political figure, who in light of his death, are doing everything they can to start a war and targeting all their efforts at the blonde Lannister girl. They’re…

So, 2-3 articles a day until she’s driven into the ground and we can all jack off in a circle about being better people?

Got it.

It’s time we have an honest conversation about starting thinkpieces with “it’s time we have an honest conversation.”

Thanks. Slowly but surely. It really is like a break-up in many ways—except most people learn how to deal with a breakup in middle school.

That really is the most delicious irony about this entire thing.

That wasn’t rape to you? Wow, I am literally, legitimately, in pain for every woman in your life and god forbids, the daughter you might one day have.

She directly stated that the above piece as an attack. This piece, which does not attack the life choice she is advocating in any way, is the attack she was responding to. Mine was not a response to her daily life anecdotes; she brought those up as support to that original claim that this article took a swipe at her…