Ugh. Everyone is just a bundle of outrage waiting for a topic these days. This is my chance to take a stance! Huzzah!

Slight tangent: this whole trend of "hard-hitting" online article that tell you to "Shut up about ____" or "Why ____ is the most important thing you're not paying attention to"?

Yeah, no, totally. Heroes waiting to rise up to a challenge and claim glory by strapping a gun to their belt every time they go out to the bank, mistaking it for an extra 4 inches.

Wow. There really are people like you, uh?

You paid hundreds of dollars to have an image permanently fused to your skin somewhere presumably visible to the casual observer.

How is your choice of getting a tatto as a "personal appreciation of art" any better or more valid than his choice to make a "political statement" or whatever his logic was?

No winky smilies about your made up sex life this time? Bummers. ;)

A haircut doesn't make her a lesbian.

Thank God. I realize that America is a very divided country on many, if not all, topics. None more so than this chunky man and his smug chunky face... but can we all please get on board about one thing: NOT MAKING GEORGE ZIMMERMAN A CELEBRITY?

It means that she's one of the many pretty girls out there who thinks she's not going to get into trouble and that people will always give her free things. Stay at a coffeeshop long enough (especially in NYC) and you'll find a couple coming up to the counter, waiting for a male server, and literally asking "So what…

Editor's note:

As expected, they're great — Lena looks fantastic.

"Make sure to say that often, okay? We need to distract people from the grossness by passing this off as a celebration of Lena.... What?.... No, they'll buy it because we're Jezegoddamnbel."

(Lena, we'll also extend this offer to you, if you want to submit them yourself.)

Jezebel these days is basically the TOTAL FRAT MOVE of feminism.

"What? Women are things."
- Lee Majors

"I can't apologize for what I did, I was just having a bad day and I just snapped."

Sooo, someone who doesn't make their bed, filmed their cat napping all day and then put that video on the internet.

I really, really want to read that OkCupid profile.

...I don't think she even noticed me there to be honest.

"Beetch, I bet you you'd still make the Jezebel front page if you went dressed in a full Morticia-Adams velvet dress!"
"You're on, Damien! The internet is NOT that bored!"

I don't have a problem with this.

People feel that way after writing particularly smug comments on Jezebel that uses the word 'intersectionality'. Why not Miley My-Pelvis-Has-Dominated-The-News-Cycle-For-Three-Weeks-in-A-Row Cyrus?