I despise the “You never know what you’re gonna get with adoption” argument. No parent ever knows what they’re gonna get! You think Jeffery Dahmer’s mother knew her son would grow up to become a cannibalistic serial killer when she held him the day he was born? Or the day Justin Bieber’s parents brought him home from…

I was born in 1980 and because my parents weren’t married, Texas wouldn’t let me have my father’s last name or list him on the birth certificate. I thought that was the worst it could get. The GOP never fails to surprise me in their ability to make things so much worse.

My take away from Demi’s rant is that women need to take care of each other because no one else will. Also, some nice shade on T Swift. But mostly the former.

Permission to use this analogy from now on, please? Also, that hashtag is the best thing I’ve read all day.

I was 22 when I had my first abortion. I remember entering the waiting room and being surprised by how many of the couples in the room were in their thirties and forties. Growing up in South Texas, I was always told the only people who got abortions were irresponsible, slutty girls in high school or college, not women…

To the people asking: that handshake (?) with the dude in the grey tux and the “I’m so sorry!” hug to Kendrick? That’s why she’s insufferable. Her speech was fine but the shit leading up to it says more about her.

Sofia Vergara is officially Charo.

Cue the “We don’t need to make abortions available to pregnant women suffering from Zika. This proves that the body can reject an unviable pregnancy all on its own. It’s God’s will” crazies.

Is Kourtney wearing bedazzled culotes? Whaaaat the faaaack?

Well in the Cubans and Venezuelans defense, look how socialism worked out for them. I can see how they’d be against liberals that are touted as socialists. But I think you’re right on the kissing white ass part. I think many still believe that if they assimilate, they too can have a great, prosperous future. What they…

They already did ROHD; it was called Big Rich Texas and it was a mess! I loved it.

Welcome to parenthood :)

Be hysterical and overprotective, it’s your kid! And any rational gun owner should be okay with your requests. We have a handgun (always unloaded, in a heavy safe that only my husband and I can access) and two little girls. It’s now common to ask “Is there a gun in the house?” when setting up playdates. I always…

I hope the grandfather is charged with negligent homicide for leaving a loaded fucking gun out in plain sight. But of course he won’t because the authorities will be all “We all have guns at home, this could have happened to any of us.” No, if you are even semi-responsible, this wouldn’t happen at all. Lock up your…

You just gave me a great idea for period gift baskets for first timers. A couple of friends’ daughters are about to start and they’ve been searching for gifts. Nothing elaborate just “Hey, you’re a woman now!” But I think a gift basket with the basics would be nice.

My friend is doing research on the role of sperm in fetal alcohol syndrome. Her hypothesis is that the alcohol can also affect the sperm so essentially, drunk sperm = baby with FAS. After this announcement from the CDC, she MUST finish her research. How quickly will the CDC backtrack if it turns out men play just as…

I read somewhere that ISIS is afraid of women fighters because they believe that if killed by a woman, they don’t go to heaven. So while we may have a few disadvantages in war time, like the sexual torture you mentioned, we also have some power. We should just have armies of women fighting ISIS! (I’ m mostly joking on…

And now it’s sexually transmitted. Somehow it will still be a female problem.

Doing all that is super considerate of you! Thanks for the advice :)

In her defense, she doesn’t have any other friends or close family our age with kids. Aside from me, the people she knows with kids had them at an extremely young age so now that they’re in their 30s, their kids are old enough to kinda take care of themselves.